17 Ways To Blow Out A Normal Jandal
We are guessing that if you have landed on this page then you’ve already heard about how Golden jandals are pretty bloody great. Not just super sexy in 4 fashionable colours - they are also strong, with a unique Kiwi-as-bread-tag-plug which makes them 400% stronger. We really wanted to drive the message home that Goldens are stronger than most other jandals, sandals and other summer footwear… To help do that, we’ve created a list of 17 activities that will most likely blow out a jandal that isn’t a Golden. Go on, give your crappy old jandals the run-through of these 17 tasks - we bet they don’t last. And when they don’t, we’ll be here waiting with a pair of Goldens saying “I told you so mate”.
1. Jog to BP for a Pie
If your jog is longer than 400m, it’s above 25 degrees and the tar is melting off the roads, just give up now - you won’t make it.Tar eats crap jandals for breakfast.
2. Bootcamp Blowouts
It’s summer, you’re trying to keep in shape so you’ve joined an outdoor BootCamp workout. It’s hot so you show up in Jandals - the last thing you want to do is be sweating in a pair of archaic fully enclosed sneakers. Yuck. You pop into your first burpee and ‘snap’ - that plugs a goner. Your jandal workout goals are over in the first few seconds….
3. Toe-hack a Drop Goal
Let’s be honest, if you didn’t play at 10 then you toe-hack anyway
4. Nehe Milner-Skudder Step
Possibly the nippiest step in all the lands - no way a weak toe-strap will handle this strong side-step. Nehe has been blowing out crap jandals since the days of ‘what now’ - get the guy some Goldens!
5. The Beep Test
Throwback to this annual moment of torture that plagued every Kiwis’ high-school career.
6. Hike to a waterfall
One of New Zealand’s favorite summer pastimes. Luckily for you - we’ve put together a list of our favorite North Island Waterfalls That You Can Hike To In Jandals. We recommend Goldens though, waterfall hikes are notorious for tree roots.
7. Launch a Boat
Possibly not where you will blow a jandal out, but certainly where you are likely to lose one! Did you know that 70% of jandals that washed up on Northland beaches during a 23 year survey have been left-footed. Supposedly because of the way us Kiwis launch our boats - kicking off with the left foot in the water.
8. Climb a Tree
Possibly not something you were considering doing anyway. But if you were - don’t. Not in a pair of non-Goldens anyway.
9. Scurry through for a second
It doesn’t matter how bad the fielder's arm is - if you are wearing crap jandals, you will not be making it back to the crease.
10. Touch on the beach
Maybe just leave the jandals on the sideline for this one aye.
11. Ride your penny board down Mt Maunganui boardwalk
You are looking cool. Or so you think. Those tiny little boards don't have the real estate to accommodate both of your jandals, and those floppy little bases and the weak plugs on your non-goldens just aren't gonna cut it. Something’s gonna give… And that something is your dusty jandals.
12. Skiing
Not exactly summer related - but we sent HowToDAD out skiing in his Goldens… They didn’t blow out.
13. Pack your Roof Pod
Chucking the fam in the car, getting ready to go on holiday. We all know you are standing on the balls/toes of your feet while you try to be tall enough to reach your roof pod. You are just waiting for that jandal strap to fail friend.
14. Send down a full-pace bouncer
Again, in a similar vein to scurrying through for a second - all BYC efforts in jandals must be tapered to the strength of said jandal. If you are wearing Goldens = let there be bouncers. Other jandals = line and length for you champ.
15. That festival-jandal thing where you put your jandals on your legs
You know what we mean aye? When you pull the jandals up your legs so you can cut some shapes barefoot without losing your favorite footwear? Yeah, well this puts a lot of strain on the strap and has been known as a leading cause of jandal blowout.
16. Moshing
Festivals, with their slippery, cramped mosh pits are a cesspool of jandal blowouts. So many people jumping - it’s just a matter of time before someone lands on your jandal while you try to jump and you feel that familiar pop.
via GIPHY
17. Dusty walk to brunch
You’ve had a big friday night. Its now Saturday morning and you’ve got to meet the team for brunch. You chuck your jandals on and rush out the door to stumble to your local cafe. Before you know it, your hungover toes catch an edge and you guessed it - blowout. Goldens - getting you to brunch. Nice one.
We are sure there is probably a never ending list of activities that would blow out your non-Goldens. We would love to hear what has blown out your jandals before - get in touch over on the contact us page to let us know what we’ve missed on this list!
